


And I Will Steady Your Hand

by kiwikero



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Pining, Support Group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-04-30 22:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14507046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwikero/pseuds/kiwikero
Summary: All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'They were not, however, advised to fall in love with someone else at the meetings without knowing what they might eventually present as.





	And I Will Steady Your Hand

**Author's Note:**

> I was so excited to be invited to be part of this challenge! It has been a lot of fun and I know that the resulting fics are going to be amazing.
> 
> Thank you so much to Sarah for being my lovely beta, and to KK for Britpicking even if she doesn't love ABO.
> 
> Also, please bear in mind this is my second ABO fic, like, ever. I tried.
> 
> Title comes from "Fire Away" by Niall Horan.

“Kyle.”

“Nina.”

“Adam.”

“Harry.”

“Louis.”

“Kierra.”

One by one the students introduced themselves, the same as they had every meeting that term. The circle began and ended with the group leader, beaming at each student in turn until it was time for him to speak again. “And you all know I’m Niall,” he said, waving his hand. A bright and enigmatic beta grad student, Niall was studying the sociology of secondary gender, specifically in regards to delayed presentation. Facilitating this support group for so-called ‘late bloomers’—those who had developed a sensitivity to pheromones but had not yet presented—was Niall’s favourite and best way of gathering material for his thesis.

For the attendees, however, it was a bit dreary. All first year university students who hadn't presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, but the very fact that they qualified to be there meant that they were at a disadvantage compared to their alpha, omega, and even beta peers. Of course, according to Niall, each of his proteges could reasonably expect to present soon as either alpha or omega. While it wasn’t unheard of for someone with the capability to smell As and Os to never experience a heat or rut, it was a highly rare occurrence. That’s what separated the ‘scenters’ from the betas, after all.

So each week they sat down in an empty conference room, chairs arranged in a haphazard circle which grew smaller as the months passed and more of their group finally presented, and waited for their turn to be _normal_. First it was Abby. Then Shay. Then Logan. They would just stop showing up, not even coming back to say goodbye, instead moving on to their new lives as alphas or omegas. It stung to be left behind like that, and sometimes Harry wondered if he was going to get a turn at all.

“So let’s get cracking. Adam, you’re up first. Fire away!” As Niall started the conversation in his customary manner, Harry couldn’t help but glance over at Louis. They had met the day Harry moved in, Louis only a few rooms down and unable to resist greeting each new arrival. Louis had been all smiles and laughing blue eyes, and Harry had liked him instantly. From the way they hadn’t been apart since, Harry supposed the feeling was mutual.

Louis was nodding along as Adam spoke, listening attentively to his story of being bullied in sixth form for being the only person in his school who hadn’t presented. In a society ruled by secondary gender, to not have one made those who did _very_ uncomfortable. It wasn’t unusual for late bloomers to be bullied or ostracised. Some would never present, and Harry was terrified he would be one of them.

“Harry?” Niall asked. “You were talking about something similar last week. Do you want to chime in?”

Harry jolted at the sound of his name, flushing with embarrassment at being caught zoning out. He smiled apologetically at Adam. “Erm, sure. Like I said last week, I had a really hard time in school. My friends all left me behind as they presented, and I wasn’t sure I even wanted to go to uni if it would be more of the same.” He smiled, straightening in his chair as he spoke. “But it made me realise that I could become a teacher and help the next generation of students who don’t present with their peers. I could be a comforting presence for them, perhaps even start a student group like this one.”

Niall nodded proudly. “Harry’s using his own struggle as a tool to help others,” he said. “I think we can all learn from that. You’ll make a great teacher, Harry.”

“Suck up,” Louis muttered under his breath, but Harry could see the telltale twist of amusement to his lips.

“Thanks,” Harry replied. “Actually, Louis was just telling me this great idea he had before the meeting. Weren’t you, Lou?” he asked, turning toward his friend with a wicked smile.

The look of murderous surprise on Louis’ face and listening to him make up his ‘great idea’ on the spot was worth the retaliation Harry was sure to be getting later.

 

♦♦♦

 

“I can’t believe you did that,” Louis grumbled as they left the meeting, pasting on a smile to wave goodbye to the others before returning to glaring daggers at Harry.

“Did what?” Harry asked innocently, leading the way back to the halls. “You’re studying theatre. I thought I’d give you the chance to practice your improvisation.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “You’re so full of shit. You’d better hope you end up an alpha, because no one is going to put up with a bratty omega like you.”

Harry laughed. “Yeah, well, same to you, Lou.” Guessing what the other might present as was a frequent topic of conversation for them, sometimes broached playfully like now and sometimes quietly on the nights they shared a bed, whispered in the dark like a confession.

Their floor was the top level of the beta halls, just one more way they were marked as different. There were very few students—and people at all, really—who presented so late, so there were plenty of rooms for them. Each had his or her own room, and if someone did present they were quickly moved to the appropriate halls for their secondary gender.

“Coming to mine tonight?” Harry asked as they reached their floor. His door was right across from the lift, and Louis’ was three doors down across the hall.

“Is water wet?” Louis called, already heading to his room.

“You know, there’s been a lot of debate about that—”

“Christ, Styles, I’ll be there in a minute!” Louis said with a laugh, slamming his door behind him.

Harry let himself into his room, flicking on the overhead light and kicking off his trainers. The single rooms were small, just big enough for a bed, desk, and dresser, but Harry didn’t need much room anyway. He didn’t have any friends other than Louis, not with the black mark on his reputation from not presenting yet, so it wasn’t like his room was a hub of social activity.

Louis came over most nights, his own room feeling far smaller than Harry’s due to the mess of it. Harry couldn’t blame him—Louis had four younger sisters, so he was taking advantage of finally having a room all to himself. Once in awhile Harry would go over and help him tidy up, but for the most part they were happy crawling into Harry’s bed to play video games or watch Netflix. Besides, Harry’s telly was bigger anyway.

Once he had changed into a pair of joggers and a soft old t-shirt, Harry settled into his bed and fluffed up the pillows. It might be strange, he supposed, that he spent so much time platonically cuddling with his best mate. But the truth of it was, until they presented, there was nothing inappropriate about it. In a way Harry was glad that he and Louis were still in limbo, because they might not have met otherwise. Life without Louis wasn’t worth thinking about.

Harry was no sooner settled than the door flew open, Louis striding in and throwing himself unceremoniously on the bed. “You haven’t picked something to watch yet?” he mumbled into the mattress.

“No, because you always tell me to pick and then shoot down my ideas until you end up choosing, so tonight I thought we’d skip to letting you choose.” Harry leaned over Louis’ prone body for the remote, studiously ignoring the way the fabric of his joggers stretched over the swell of Louis’ bum. It was an arse made to tempt alphas, one of the many reasons Harry suspected Louis would eventually present as an omega. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Harry had always imagined he would end up as an alpha, just like his older sister.

Remote in hand, Harry reluctantly leaned back into his own space, turning on the television and flipping through Netflix. “What are we in the mood for tonight? Something scary? Something funny?”

“How about a rom-com?” Louis suggested, rolling over and pulling himself up to a sitting position. He scooted closer to Harry to lean against the pillows, tenting his knees and letting the right one fall to knock against Harry’s.

Harry scrolled through the romantic comedy category, reading out titles as Louis rejected them. Some they had seen (a fair few more than once), and others just sounded far too cliché to be enjoyable. Eventually Louis stole the remote, as he usually did, and flicked through the titles too fast for Harry to even read along.

“How about this one?” Louis said, stopping on a fairly new American film that neither of them had seen yet. “It’s supposed to be good.”

“Sure,” Harry agreed, grabbing a blanket to pull over them while Louis started the film.

They watched in silence, occasionally giggling and scoffing at the twenty-somethings on the screen who were meant to be teenagers in high school. Louis was the kind of person who laughed out loud at films, always turning his head to see if Harry was laughing too. Even if he hadn’t been before, all it took was Louis’ uninhibited amusement and a crinkly-eyed smile and Harry was joining in with him.

The film was actually pretty good, and Harry could see why Louis chose it. The main character was the only girl in the senior class who hadn’t presented, and all her classmates bullied her for it. Of course, she presented as an omega just in time for the most popular boy in school, coincidentally an alpha, to ask her to the prom. It was terribly contrived, but Harry still had to swipe at his eyes when the girl got to kiss the boy of her dreams in the middle of the dance floor while her bullies looked on jealously.

“Do you think we’ll ever present?” Louis asked wistfully as the credits started to roll, his own eyes more than a little misty.

“Of course we will,” Harry said firmly. It was incredibly rare for someone to never present at all. “But even if we don’t, it won’t be the end of the world.”

Louis sighed. “I feel like I can’t plan the rest of my life until I do. It sucks that everything depends on what my body is taking forever to decide.” He gestured to the screen with a weak smile. “What if I never get my big dramatic kiss at the prom?”

Harry laughed. “You’ll get your kiss, you tosser,” he said, smiling as Louis leaned over to rest his head on Harry’s shoulder. “No matter what you end up presenting as, someone out there is waiting to love you.” It hurt, thinking of someone else loving Louis, and Harry guiltily tried to push aside his fantasy that he would present as an alpha, and Louis as an omega, and the two of them would live happily ever after. It was a lovely dream, if somewhat unlikely, but Harry promised that if everything worked out in his favour then he would ask Louis out just like the girl in the film.

“You too, you know?” Louis murmured, turning his nose into Harry’s neck, pressing it to the spot below his ear. “No one is going to be able to resist you, not when you smell this good even without presenting.”

The act of being scented made Harry’s body react, his cheeks flushing and his cock twitching. His smell was weak, just as Louis’ was, but his body still responded the way it was wired to. Just because he didn’t know his secondary gender yet didn’t mean he wasn’t a teenager with biological urges. If it was this bad now, he could understand why alpha and omega halls were at opposite ends of the campus.

“All right, enough of that,” Harry said weakly, halfheartedly pushing Louis away. “Are we going to watch something else?”

Louis shook his head, reaching for the blanket and rolling himself up in it as he settled down on the bed. “Nah, I’m tired. I had a meeting with my advisor early this morning and no time for a nap. Mind if we call it a night?”

“Sure, Lou,” Harry agreed, tugging at the blanket until Louis relinquished his hold on it and allowed Harry to share. Louis never asked to sleep over; he either stayed or slipped back down the hall to his own room, but the nights when they fell asleep side-by-side were Harry’s favourites. Even when he ended up with no blanket or pushed out of the bed entirely, waking up next to Louis was the best feeling in the world. “See you in the morning,” he said, reaching for the lamp and plunging the room into darkness.

“Night, Haz,” Louis replied, curling himself around Harry’s back, his breaths tickling Harry’s ear as they slowed and deepened into gentle snores.

If Harry dreamt about being scented for real, his smell irresistible to an omega with blue eyes and a mischievous smile, then no one had to know.

 

♦♦♦

 

The days seemed to meld together as Harry’s second term at uni passed by. There were lectures, and exams, and of course movie nights with Louis. There were support group meetings that got smaller and smaller as the attendees finally presented, but now and again someone new would join in. Niall was as positive as ever, assuring each of them that their time would come, and until then they should focus on being the best person they could be regardless of their future gender.

One day Louis was in a strop, ranting about some jerk of an alpha in one of his classes. “He was such a dick, Harry. He basically announced to the entire class that alphas are superior, and that betas might as well not even exist.” He was fuming, his hands shaking as he poured ketchup over his chips. “I didn’t know people like that existed in this day and age!”

“There are always going to be jerks like that,” Harry said sadly, resting his hand on Louis’ knee under the table in hopes of calming him. It was times like these when he wished he could hurry up and present, use his voice and scent to settle Louis down and comfort him. For now, his touch seemed to do the trick.

Louis huffed out a breath. “I know. It’s just annoying. No one should be treated unfairly because of something they can’t control.” He smiled softly, placing his hand over Harry’s on his knee. “Just promise me you won’t be that kind of alpha.”

“Of course I won’t,” Harry insisted. He had been on the receiving end of that sort of hate, of remarks about his uselessness until his body got with the programme and presented. “You don’t really think I will, do you?”

“You couldn’t if you tried,” Louis replied sweetly, leaning over to give Harry a kiss on the cheek. “And if you are, I’m not afraid to punch you in the dick.”

“Fair enough.”

 

♦♦♦

 

“I don’t feel like going tonight,” Harry whined. He was sprawled out on his bed while Louis sat on the floor, eyes fixed on the game he was playing.

“You have to,” Louis replied, not looking away from the screen. “Remember what happened the week I had the flu? Niall still brings it up and that was months ago.”

It was true, Niall was a bit of a stickler for attendance. He strongly believed that it was important for the members of Fire Away to turn up each week; that way there was a foundation of trust and accountability among them. He wouldn’t hesitate to bring it up if someone missed, either, reminding them that they needed to be there to support one another.

“I remember,” Harry grumbled, not wanting to be on the receiving end of a disappointed phone call from their group leader. “I’m just not feeling well today. I think I’m coming down with something.”

Louis was beside him in an instant, concern in his eyes as he pressed the back of his hand to Harry’s forehead. “You are a little warm,” Louis said, stroking a stray curl away from Harry’s face. “Maybe you should stay home tonight. Get some rest.”

“No, I’ll go,” Harry decided with a sigh. “I’m probably just tired. I’ll be fine.” He was tired, and a bit achy, though that wasn’t unusual if he was running a low fever. “Let’s go get something to eat and then we can walk over.”

Concern still flickered over Louis’ features, but he didn’t argue. “All right,” he relented, before punching Harry in the arm. “That’s for making me lose my game, by the way.”

“Ouch!” Harry complained, sitting up and rubbing his arm. “You were going to lose anyway.”

“Was not,” Louis insisted, leaning in to tickle Harry’s side.

Harry flinched away, trying to cover his sides with his hands. “Don’t you dare!” he warned. He was extremely ticklish, and letting Louis find that out had been a terrible mistake.

Louis was undeterred, sneaking his fingers underneath Harry’s and attacking the sensitive skin over his ribs. “Admit I would have won and I’ll stop,” Louis said gleefully, delighting in Harry’s anguished pleas.

“No!” Harry replied stubbornly, even as he fell backward on the bed and Louis straddled him, still tickling relentlessly. Harry managed to grab Louis’ hands and pull them them away from his sides, crowing triumphantly at the brief respite. It didn’t last long, Louis quickly breaking free of Harry’s grasp and taking hold of his wrists. With a grin he pinned Harry’s arms over his head, pressing them into the mattress with one hand so the other was free to continue tickling.

All of a sudden Harry felt strange, too hot and his skin too tight, Louis’ body pressing down on him like a weighted blanket. Louis must have seen the panic on his face because he immediately let go, sitting up to study Harry carefully. “Haz? You all right?”

Harry whimpered, squirming beneath Louis on the bed. It felt like his fever had spiked, like his blood was boiling in his veins and sweat was pouring off him. Louis shifted to move off of him, accidentally brushing Harry’s crotch in the process, and Harry shot upright on the bed. His eyes went wide as he felt it, the sudden rush of wetness soaking into his pants, and all of a sudden he understood what was happening. He turned round, frightened eyes on Louis. “I think I’m going into heat.”

Louis’ jaw dropped open, his blue eyes comically large as he stared at his friend. “Are you sure?” he asked, but Harry could tell the moment Louis caught a whiff of his scent, now much stronger, underscored by the sweet smell of the slick Harry was producing. “What do we do?” he asked, reaching for Harry’s hand.

“I don’t know!” Harry cried, tossing about on the bed. His body was betraying him, craving to be filled in a way it never had been and, frankly, had never wanted. Harry hadn’t truly entertained the possibility that he might present as an omega, yet here he was. He closed his eyes tight, tears leaking from the corners as he tried to calm the rush of emotion overtaking him. “You should probably leave,” he suggested, already embarrassed that Louis had to see him like this.

Louis shook his head vehemently. “I’m not going anywhere,” he insisted. “I might not be an alpha, but I’m your friend, and I can help you through this if you want me to. I’ll get you whatever you need.”

Harry’s body grew even wetter just thinking about an alpha being with him, and he whined pitifully. “Will you hold me? Please?” he begged, not bothering to fight the tears that seemed to insist on rolling down his cheeks.

“Of course,” Louis murmured soothingly. He curled up behind Harry like they’d done a thousand times, pulling Harry tight to his chest and running his hands over the heated flesh of Harry’s arms. “I’ve got you, love. I’ve got you.”

Suddenly feeling much calmer, Harry exhaled heavily, a wave of exhaustion hitting him like a truck. He let himself drift away to the gentle sound of Louis’ voice, speaking words he couldn’t quite make out but gave him comfort regardless.

Harry woke sometime later, long enough that the sky was dark outside and the only light in the room was a thin strip filtering in from underneath the door. Louis was still next to him, one hand possessively on Harry’s hip, and when Harry rolled over he could see Louis scrolling through Facebook on his phone. He smiled when he noticed Harry. “You’re awake,” he said softly, as if the atmosphere in the room was so fragile that too sharp a sound might puncture it. “How are you feeling?”

Harry didn’t know how to answer that. He felt empty, aching, desperate in a way he’d never felt before. He felt confused and betrayed, not at all how he thought presenting would feel. Mostly, though, he could feel his body beg to be claimed, filled, as if it had finally realised its purpose and was in a hurry to get the job done. Words failed him, so instead Harry just whined, and Louis seemed to understand.

“I called my mum while you were sleeping,” Louis said mildly, ghosting his hand up and down Harry’s side, the barely there contact nothing at all like the playful jabs that had set this whole thing off. “She said that your first one won’t last very long, and gave me a list of things that might help you. I’ll go get them for you, if you want, but I didn’t want to leave  before you woke—”

“No,” Harry insisted. “No, please don’t leave.” Louis’ mum was an omega, and a nurse to boot, but while he was sure Jay had excellent advice, he couldn’t stand the thought of being alone at the moment. “Please stay with me.”

Louis bit his lip, studying Harry nervously. “I asked her– I mean, I wasn’t sure if it would work, but she said it might, if you want to try it…” He stumbled over his words and refused to meet Harry’s gaze, scarcely resembling the loud, confident Louis that Harry was used to. “I mean, since we’re so close at all, it might help—”

“What are you on about?” Harry asked in frustration, his racing brain unable to puzzle through Louis’ disconnected words. “Just say it!”

“I could help you,” Louis suggested quietly, and even in the dark Harry could see him blushing. He didn’t know how to reply, so he didn’t, and eventually Louis took that as a sign to keep talking. “An alpha would be best, but Mum said that in some cases just having someone you have a deep bond with help you through can make things easier.” He smiled shyly, finally meeting Harry’s eyes. “I don’t think there’s anyone closer than me and you, do you?”

Harry’s breath caught as Louis’ words sunk in, and his body certainly seemed on board with the idea. Louis wasn’t an alpha, and he wouldn’t be able to provide the knot Harry’s body was craving, but he would take care of Harry. It was Harry’s fantasy come to life, only he’d been picturing it the other way around. “Yeah,” he agreed, not letting himself think any further than what he needed right now. “Yeah, okay.”

Louis seemed relieved, his body relaxing as if it had been tensed for a rejection. He scooted closer to Harry, hovering over him. “If you change your mind, just say the world and I’ll stop. This isn’t weird, okay? You’d do it for me.”

“I would, I would,” Harry agreed, already feeling the desperation take hold. “Please!”

Louis stripped off his shirt and trousers, helping Harry do the same before gently laying him out on the bed. He moved far slower than Harry’s body appreciated, but it was sweet how careful Louis was being with him. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, running a delicate hand down Harry’s heaving chest, settling him.

Harry nodded, tilting his mouth up, and then warm lips were enveloping his own. He had dreamt of kissing Louis, of pulling him close and learning the ridges on the roof of his mouth, and now he finally was. He moaned into it, pulling Louis tightly against him, and Louis allowed it. He wasn’t even aware Louis was touching his body until a hand wrapped around his cock, giving a testing stroke.

“Ah!” Harry gasped, breaking the kiss as he threw his head back and thrust into Louis’ fist. It felt amazing to be touched by someone else, even more so because his body was begging for it. He wasn’t far from coming already, didn’t think he could hold off if he tried.

“It’s okay,” Louis soothed, keeping his strokes slow and gentle. “You can let go. This one’s just to take the edge off.” He swiped a thumb over the head of Harry’s cock, tightening his grip just so, and Harry was coming harder than he ever had in his life.

“Please, please,” Harry sobbed, not even sure what exactly he was begging for, only that he needed _more._ Louis seemed to understand, though, quickly moving between Harry’s legs and pressing a finger to his entrance.

“Is this okay?” he asked, gently stroking over Harry’s hole, spreading the slick over the rim. Harry was glad one of them had a clear head, because all he could do was nod insistently and press himself down against Louis’ hand, needing something inside him to chase the empty feeling away.

When Louis finally slipped a finger inside, Harry thought he actually might cry. His body clenched around the intrusion, seeking the stretch of a knot. It wouldn’t be getting that, not today, not from Louis.

“You’re, ah, really wet,” Louis told him, easing another finger inside.

“Don’t make fun of me,” Harry moaned, covering his flushed face with both hands. “I can’t help it!”

“Not making fun,” Louis assured him, his fingers delving deeper, faster. “It’s– it’s really hot.” There was a husk to his voice Harry had never heard before, and when he met Louis’ eyes they were dark with want, matching splotches of red settling over his cheeks.

“I’m ready, please,” Harry begged, and Louis didn’t take any more coaxing than that to withdraw his hand.

“You want it like this?” Louis asked, reaching for his neglected cock and giving it a stroke, fingers still shiny with Harry’s slick.

Harry shook his head. He rolled to his stomach and raised his arse in the air, properly presenting himself like he’d always imagined an omega would present to him someday. Judging by the shaky release of breath behind him, it was fairly effective. He felt Louis scoot between his spread legs, felt the head of him nudge up against the crack of Harry’s arse, so close to where Harry needed it. Louis hesitated, though, and Harry looked over his shoulder in question.

Louis appeared nervous, laughably innocent for what they were in the middle of doing. “I, erm, I’m not going to get you pregnant?” he asked, smiling like it was a joke, but the concern in his eyes was real. “Should we use something?”

“Not unless you present as an alpha in the next thirty seconds, you’re not. We’re virgins, Lou. Just _put it in me.”_

The feeling of Louis finally, _finally_ pushing inside was enough to push Harry over the edge again, his body spasming with each tentative thrust of Louis’ cock. It wasn’t at all how he had imagined having sex for the first time, but it was with Louis, and that made it far better than he could have anticipated. He let out a wanton groan, grinding his hips back against Louis’, signaling that he was ready for more.

Louis grabbed hold of his hips with a moan, using his hands to crash their bodies together more forcefully. It felt so good, so right, and Harry was torn between dragging it out for hours and finishing so that maybe, hopefully, they could do it again. Louis was relaxing more and more with each thrust, his instincts taking over and telling his body what to do, and suddenly Harry wasn’t so sure Louis wouldn’t be an alpha after all. It gave him an idea.

“Is this how you would take me if you were an alpha?” Harry asked, looking back again to watch Louis’ face. “Slow and gentle?”

Louis’ expression grew darker, possessive. “No,” he panted, pressing a hand to Harry’s back to push his chest down and raise his arse higher in the air. “No, if I was your alpha, I wouldn’t be able to resist fucking you hard,” Louis said, his voice trembling as he tried to restrain himself, like he might hurt Harry if he let go.

“Then fuck me,” Harry commanded, raising the pitch of his voice slightly to add, “Alpha.”

Something inside Louis broke at that, and with a feral cry he was slamming into Harry with abandon. Harry nearly screamed with the force of it, each thrust so good that he wasn’t certain how much more he could take.

“You gonna knot me?” Harry asked, the words shaking as pleasure coursed through his body. “Claim me as yours?”

It was Louis’ turn to whine, just as lost in the fantasy as Harry was. “I’m going to fill you up so well,” Louis promised, reaching between them to stroke over Harry’s rim where it wrapped around his cock. “You’re going to look so gorgeous stretching around my knot.”

“Keep talking,” Harry begged, feeling another orgasm building low in his stomach. His newly awakened omega brain was relishing the idea of being taken by an alpha, and he intended to indulge it as best as he could.

Louis seemed more than happy to oblige, draping himself over Harry’s back so that he could speak directly into the omega’s ear. “I’d fuck you like this so I could smell you,” he said, inhaling deeply. “You smell so good. Like before, but stronger. It’s intoxicating.” He pressed a kiss to Harry’s neck, dragging his mouth down to Harry’s shoulder and letting his lips linger there. Harry gasped at the hint of teeth pressing into his skin in the place he knew a mating mark would go. “Yeah? You want me to mark you? Let everyone know you’re mine?”

“Yes, claim me, please!” Harry begged, surprising himself with how badly that was something he wanted. Louis bit down, hard, and Harry was coming again, his body shaking with the force of it. He collapsed down on the bed, spent, still helplessly spasming around Louis. He looked up at him, glassy eyed, as Louis thrusted a few more times, head thrown back in ecstasy, and started to come.

The feeling of Louis’ cock jerking inside him was incredible, but then there was a pressure at Harry’s rim and he instantly felt sated, complete, like his body had done its job and he could relax. Louis had nudged his fingers in next to his flagging erection, keeping them locked together the same way a knot would. Harry could tell it wasn’t a knot, wouldn’t shorten his heat the way truly getting knotted would, but it felt close enough for now. Exhausted, he fell asleep with Louis still inside him, refusing to think of the enormity of what they’d just done.

 

♦♦♦

 

“We should talk about this,” Louis whispered into his ear when Harry woke sometime later, but Harry’s body had one thing on its mind and ‘talking’ wasn’t going to cut it.

“Not right now,” he said, pulling Louis in for a kiss. They didn’t talk.

 

♦♦♦

 

Their talk kept getting postponed, even after Harry’s heat was over and life could return to normal. It meant something, surely, that Louis had been so willing to mate him, knot him, even if it was only fantasy. The feelings that had been lurking beneath their friendship had bubbled to the surface, but while Louis seemed ready to let them emerge, Harry only wanted to shove them back down again. There was still a chance that Louis would present as an omega, like they’d suspected, or as a beta, and Harry wasn’t ready to hope for a relationship they might not be able to have. Matters were complicated further when, a few short days later, Harry received a letter with his new room assignment. In the frenzy of his heat, Harry had forgotten that presenting meant he would no longer be just a few doors down from Louis.

“I’m going to miss you,” Louis admitted as he helped Harry pack up his things.

Harry frowned from where he sat on the bed, taking down the pictures taped to the wall. “I’m just moving to the other side of campus, Lou. We’ll still see each other.”

“Not every night,” Louis groused, closing up a box and pushing it away from him. It was true; because of the nature of their secondary genders, only betas were allowed inside the omega halls, so their sleepovers would have to come to an end.

“I can still visit here,” Harry insisted. “We can still have lunch every day. I’ll even let you keep my TV, and we can move our game nights to yours.”

That seemed to lift Louis’ mood. “You’d do that?” he asked, a smile creeping onto his face.

“Sure,” Harry agreed easily. “We’ll have dinner together and then come back to yours. I just won’t be allowed to stay over anymore.”

“That’s all right, I suppose,” Louis said, reaching for another box. “As long as I get to see you. We can start tomorrow night, if you want, after Fire Away.”

Harry paused halfway to adding a photo to the pile, one of his mother and older sister. They’d been overjoyed at the news he had finally presented. _Now you can get on with the rest of your life,_ his mum had said. “About that. I don’t think I’ll be going to support group anymore.”

Louis’ face fell. “What do you mean? You have to go to. I don’t want to go without you.”

“But I’ve presented, haven’t I?” Harry argued. “No one keeps coming after they present. Haven’t exactly seen much of Abby or Logan lately, have we?”

“Just because they stopped coming doesn’t mean you have to,” Louis insisted. “You’re still a late bloomer. The fact that you’ve presented now doesn’t erase what you went through.”

He had a point, Harry supposed, but it almost felt like he wouldn’t be able to relate to the members of Fire Away anymore, like going would be flaunting the fact that he had presented in their faces. “I’ll think about it,” he lied, his mind mostly made up already.

It was enough to placate Louis, however. He offered Harry a crooked smile and went back to boxing up Harry’s DVDs.

They had Harry moved in by the end of the day. Louis wasn’t allowed to come up to Harry’s new room, but he still helped carry everything across campus and dutifully waited outside while Harry took his belongings upstairs.

“Sorry you can’t come in,” Harry apologised after the final trip. “It’s a stupid rule. It’s not like you’re going to present while you’re helping me carry boxes.”

Louis shrugged. “It’s fine. Why don’t you get settled and we’ll meet for dinner? I don’t want to go by myself.”

Harry smiled. “Sure, Lou. Wouldn’t want you to have to make other friends,” he teased.

“Maybe I don’t want other friends,” Louis shot back, reaching forward and pinching Harry’s cheek. “See you at dinner, you prick.”

Harry watched him go before turning and looking up at his new home. It looked like the other halls, but the air was heavy with the scent of so many omegas housed in one place. Harry could smell someone’s gender before, but now it was nearly overwhelming. He couldn’t begin to imagine what smelling an alpha would be like.

He went up to his room and settled down on his bed, trying to find the energy to start unpacking. His life had turned upside down overnight, and he was still reeling with it. It wasn’t that he minded being an omega, even if it wasn’t what he expected. His only source of disappointment was that he still thought Louis was likely to be an omega as well. He had the build, the hips, the sweet tinge to his scent. If Louis presented as an omega, he surely would want to be with an alpha someday.

Harry scrubbed his hands over his face. It wasn’t fair. He had foolishly let himself hope that fate would be in their favour, but Harry’s body had thrown a wrench in the operation. Still, it wasn’t worth torturing himself over while he waited for Louis to present. He could continue being his friend, and nothing had to change. Once Louis presented they could figure it out from there. He heard his mum’s voice in his head again: _Now you can get on with the rest of your life._

Well, the rest of his life could bloody well wait for Louis.

 

♦♦♦

 

Louis was waiting for him at the dining hall, and when the two of them walked inside together it was like nothing had changed. Harry could almost ignore the curious looks he got from other omegas catching his scent for the first time, the hungry gazes of alphas who had never looked at him twice before. He shifted closer to Louis, trying to forget the rest of the world existed. He knew things would change after he presented, but at the moment he was feeling woefully unprepared.

“You’re getting an awful lot of attention,” Louis remarked, and Harry could just make out the bitter undercurrent to his tone.

“I hate it,” Harry admitted quietly. “It’s like I’m important now just because they can smell me.” It was all a bit overwhelming to his senses as well; the scents that had been subtle before were screaming now. He could smell arousal and jealousy and possessiveness, each clamouring to be louder than the other and frankly making him sick to his stomach.

Louis watched him carefully, perhaps noticing the discomfort on his face. “Hey, he said quietly, hooking his arm through Harry’s. “Why don’t we get out of here? I’m feeling takeaway for dinner.”

A wave of gratitude washed over Harry. “Sounds great,” he agreed, and allowed Louis to lead him back outside.

They walked in silence to their favourite Indian restaurant, where Louis graciously paid for both their meals. “You didn’t have to do that,” Harry insisted while they waited on their order.

“I wanted to,” Louis replied simply, and they didn’t say another word until their food was ready.

Walking back into the beta halls felt like coming home. Instead of a cloying mixture of sweet and floral scents, the hallways smelled like cleaning products and body spray. There were no emotions making the air so thick that Harry might choke on it, only the subtle hint of cinnamon that Harry knew belonged to Louis. He thought about that scent a lot, about whether it would sweeten into that of an omega or grow into the sharp, rich scent of an alpha. It was going to be irresistible either way, Harry knew, and that was somewhat terrifying.

It was strange to get off the lift and bypass his old room, but Louis carried on down the hall like nothing was out of the ordinary. He paused outside of his door with a sheepish smile, hand resting on the knob. “It’s a bit messy,” he warned.

“I’d be shocked if it wasn’t,” Harry teased, and followed Louis inside.

The room was messy, more disorganised than dirty, but it smelled like Louis and that made it relaxing nonetheless. Harry stepped over a pile of laundry and climbed into the unmade bed, scooting over to make room for Louis and waiting expectantly for his food.

“Thanks,” Harry said once his takeaway container was empty, closing the lid and tossing it at the bin.

“Don’t mention it. I was craving a curry,” Louis replied with a shrug, offering Harry the last piece of naan and eating it himself when Harry declined.

Harry smiled tightly. “I meant for getting me out of there. I can’t even begin to describe what it’s like, being able to smell _everything._ I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.

“I don’t have to present to know when you’re uncomfortable,” Louis said sourly. “And I’m sure you’ll be used to it in no time at all. You’ll have it all figured out before my body ever gets with the programme.”

Harry raised his eyebrows, surprised at Louis’ tone. “Are you jealous?” he asked patiently. “You know it’ll happen for you, Lou. Would it help if I stop talking about it?” he offered.

“What? No,” Louis scoffed, chucking his empty container as well. “I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. I am jealous, Haz, but not of you.” He stared down at the duvet, picking at stray pieces of lint on the fabric.

Harry blinked at him. “Then who?”

A slow, red flush crawled over Louis’ cheeks. “They were all staring at you. You should have seen the way they were looking at you, like you were a piece of meat.” He looked up, storm clouds gathering in his blue eyes. “I wanted to be able to tell them you were mine.”

Harry’s brain struggled to process that information, gaping at Louis like a fish as the wheels slowly turned. “You– you want me?” Harry asked timidly. If he was hearing correctly, if that’s what Louis was saying… Well. He had hoped to hear those words since the first day a handsome, funny, gregarious stranger appeared in his doorway, hand outstretched in greeting.

“I thought it was obvious,” Louis mumbled, looking away again. “The other night, your _heat…_ Haz, that wasn’t just me helping you. I wanted it too.”

It should have been the sweetest thing Harry had heard in his entire life, and he wished he could just pull Louis close and kiss him then and there, but there was still one small complication. “But you haven’t presented yet,” Harry pointed out sadly.

Louis frowned, his expression clouding over. “What does that have to do anything?” Louis asked. “Presenting won’t change who I am. It didn’t change you,” he pointed out.

“You’re not getting it,” Harry said, frustrated. “What if you present as an omega?”

“What?” Louis asked, taken aback. “You wouldn’t want to be with me because of that?”

Harry shook his head in agitation. “I want to be with you, Louis, but it’s not that simple! Omegas are built to need an alpha. To want to be knotted. To bond and mate and have babies. I wouldn’t be able to give you those things.”

“There are plenty of omegas who date other omegas,” Louis protested, his voice edging on frantic. “I don’t need any of those things. I just want you, Haz, I promise. You’re more than enough. Unless… Unless you want an alpha?” Louis asked softly, and the look in his eyes was enough to break Harry’s heart.

“I’m just saying, maybe it’s best we wait and see how you present,” Harry said lamely. He wanted Louis, more than he could stand, but he would never forgive himself if Louis presented as an omega and decided that he needed to be with an alpha. Or, worse, if Louis settled for Harry because he felt trapped in their relationship. As hard as it was to hurt Louis now, Harry knew that it would hurt far worse down the road.

“What can I say to change your mind?” Louis asked, pleaded, tears escaping his eyes and flooding his cheeks. “I don’t understand why I’m not enough for you.”

“I’m afraid that I won’t be enough for _you!”_ Harry shouted back, scrambling off the bed. “I can’t do this right now, Lou. I’ll see you around.” He could hear Louis calling for him, but he made a mad dash for the stairs and took them two at a time until he was outside and the night air was cooling the tears he didn’t even realise were on his cheeks.

 

♦♦♦

 

_(Missed call from Louis)_

_(Missed call from Louis)_

_Harry we need to talk_

_Please don’t ignore me_

_(Missed call from Louis)_

_don’t shut me out. Please. I’m sorry. Forget I said anything. Can we at least be friends??_

_(Missed call from Louis)_

_Please come to group at least, everyone missed you last week._

_(Missed call from Louis)_

 

♦♦♦

 

One week. It had been a whole week since Harry had left Louis’ room without looking back, one week since he had forced himself to walk across campus with his arms wrapped tightly around his body like he could hide his scent. He didn’t want anyone else smelling him, sensing the pain and sadness he was emanating without his consent. He had wanted Louis, but he couldn’t have him. Not until Louis had the chance to know what he wanted for sure.

It was Tuesday, and Tuesday meant Fire Away. It meant another evening of a shrinking circle of chairs, of confessions and tears, of Niall’s ever-present optimism. It meant the second week in a row of Louis sitting alone, perhaps watching the door and waiting for one last member to join them. Had he saved Harry a chair last week, just in case? Would he this week?

The sound of Harry’s phone ringing startled him, and he nearly threw it across the room in surprise. He expected to see Louis’ name flash across the display, like it had several times each day since their falling out. Harry had wanted to pick up each time, to hear Louis’ voice and apologise for being so awful, but at the same time he still believed the things he said: if anything was going to happen between them, it had to wait until Louis presented. Harry was not going to risk either of them getting hurt if things didn’t go the way they wanted. He could only hope that he could salvage their friendship in the meantime. Not now, though, not when it was still so fresh. He had half a mind to tell Louis that, to answer the call and tell Louis to leave him alone  
  
When he picked up the phone, however, it wasn’t Louis’ name displayed across the screen.  
  
“Niall?” Harry answered hesitantly. “Did Louis tell you to call me? Because if he did, you can tell him—”  
  
“Shut up for a minute,” Niall interrupted him, not sounding at all like his usual self. “Look, I’m not calling because of Louis, and I’m certainly not calling as your group leader, do you understand?”  
  
“I– yes,” Harry answered dumbly, too surprised to say much else.  
  
Niall sighed heavily into the phone. “All right. Lou told us you presented last week. I’m a bit surprised you didn’t come back to group, at least to say goodbye.” His tone was more conversational, but there was still an edge to it.  
  
Harry felt a rush of shame wash over him. “I didn’t feel like I belonged there anymore. I thought I would be rubbing it in.”  
  
Niall scoffed. “Harry. How did you feel when others never returned after they presented?”  
  
“I was jealous, but I was happy for them too,” Harry admitted. “It would have been nice to see them again after spending so much time together.”  
  
“Exactly,” Niall agreed. “Support groups don’t end just because you don’t need them anymore. In fact, sometimes the group still needs you even when you’re ready to move on.”  
  
Or, perhaps, one member of the group still needs me, Harry thought to himself. “Yeah, all right Niall. I’m glad you called.”  
  
“Just think about it, all right? It doesn’t have to be tonight, but you’re always welcome if you ever want to stop by.”  
  
“I’ll think about it, I promise,” Harry assured him. He said goodbye and ended the call, letting himself fall back on his bed. He couldn’t believe he could be such an idiot. He had spent so much time worrying about Louis regretting being with him that he hadn’t even considered that Louis might just need his best friend right now. Each ignored phone call and text message might have been a time when Louis really needed Harry, and Harry was too caught up in his own self-righteous decision to spare a thought for what Louis must be going through. Louis’ closest friend, the one he shared everything with, had presented without him, and then cut off all contact with him because he didn’t trust Louis to make his own decisions.  
  
“I’m an idiot,” he confessed to the ceiling. It didn’t disagree with him.  


♦♦♦  


It struck Harry as strange, that something could seem so familiar and unnerving at the same time. How many nights had he spent walking down the corridor to Fire Away? How many times had he pushed open the door and crossed to the pair of chairs he and Louis always claimed for themselves?  
  
Except, this time, Louis wasn’t at his side, and as the door swung open every eye in the room turned to stare at him.  
  
Harry gave a shy wave before making his way to his usual seat, settling into it nervously. It was comforting to be surrounded by familiar scents, none of them overpowering, and Harry let himself breathe them in gratefully. The rest of the gang was still there, Kierra and Adam and—  
  
And Louis. He was hovering near the doorway, eyeing Harry like he was vacillating between anger and disbelief. His blue eyes were wide, dark circles beneath them making him look tired. Harry offered a smile, gesturing at the seat next to him, but Louis set his jaw and strode purposely across the room to sit next to Kyle. It hurt, but Harry didn’t expect—or deserve—instant forgiveness. Luckily Niall chose that moment to ask everyone to take their seats, so Harry didn’t have too much time to dwell on it. He could instead focus on the meeting, on listening to his friends talk, and try to ignore the weight of Louis’ eyes on him from across the circle.  
  
They introduced themselves like always, and Niall turned to Nina almost immediately to follow up on her story from the week before. Harry listened to her talk, trying not to notice that everyone kept glancing over at him like he was intruding on their space.

  
“I’m sure some of you noticed that we have an old friend back with us today,” Niall said, reaching over to clap Harry on the shoulder from the seat that Louis failed to take. “It’s not often we have someone stop back by once they’ve presented.” He turned to Harry, his bright eyes and easy smile enough to have Harry’s lips twitching into a grin. “Do you want to tell us how it’s been on the other side, Harry?”  
  
Harry took a deep breath, releasing it on a shaky exhale as he looked around the circle. There was curiosity on the faces of the other members as they waited for him to speak, though Louis was steadfastly refusing to meet Harry’s gaze. It didn’t matter; he would hear what Harry had to say anyway.  
  
“A couple of weeks ago, I presented as an omega,” Harry announced, sitting up straighter in his chair. “It wasn’t what I expected to happen at all, and ever since then I’ve been trying to adjust. Everyone looks at me differently, treats me differently… And I think I’ve treated people differently too.” Louis glanced up at that, a question in his blue eyes.  
  
“Can you elaborate on that?” Niall encouraged gently.  
  
“Yeah, erm…” Harry took another steadying breath. “So, like. Once I presented, I thought that I understood how the world worked a lot better. I thought it gave me an insight into why things are the way they are. I was wrong, of course, but that didn’t stop me from hurting the person I love most in the world.” He looked anywhere but at Louis, not able to handle seeing his reaction until he’d said his piece. “I thought that it gave me the right to make decisions for other people, without any regard to their feelings, but it didn’t. It doesn’t,” he amended, tears pooling at the corners of his eyes. “Presenting doesn’t change who you are, or what you want. It’s an important part of your identity, but it shouldn’t be the defining part, and I forgot that somewhere along the way.” He finally dared to glance over at Louis, startled to see the eyes he adored wet and red and fixated on him. “If you love someone, what you present as shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter,” he said more firmly. “But I let myself believe it did. I just wanted… I wanted to warn you guys, so that you didn’t make the same mistake I did.” His voice broke at the end, and he felt the comforting hands of Niall and Kyle on his back.  
  
“Thanks for sharing that with us, Harry,” Niall said, followed by murmurs of assent from the rest of the group. “I know it feels like we’re all waiting to present, like it’s this huge defining moment in our lives, but you can’t lose sight of the person you were beforehand.” He patted Harry’s shoulder. “But we all make mistakes, and as long as you catch them in time, it might not be too late to fix them.”  
  
“I hope not,” Harry replied softly, and was grateful when Niall moved the conversation to another topic.  
  
The rest of the meeting passed in a blur, individual voices drowned out by the rush of blood in Harry’s ears. It was hard not to look at Louis, to gauge his reaction, but he forced himself to wait until they could be alone. The moment came soon enough, in a scrape of chairs and murmured goodbyes. Several of the others took the time to thank Harry for coming and to wish him well, but his replies were halfhearted at best. Then the room was empty aside from the man sitting across the circle, and finally, finally, did Harry dare to look up at him.  
  
Louis looked small, curled in on himself in his seat. His teeth worried at his lower lip, eyes still rimmed with red as he glanced up at Harry through his lashes. This time, when Harry gestured to the seat next to him, Louis responded with a jerky nod and moved to join him.  
  
“Did you mean all that?” Louis asked once he was seated. “That you were a dick for trying to make decisions for me?”  
  
“I don’t think that’s exactly what I said,” Harry countered. “But that’s the gist of it, yeah.” He dared to reach for Louis’ hand, twining their fingers together. “I know you have no reason to forgive me, and you might not even want me anymore after all that, but I hope you’ll at least see fit to keep being my friend.”  
  
Louis chuckled lowly, shaking his head. “You really should have been an alpha, you absolute knothead,” Louis replied. He smiled up at Harry, squeezing his hand back. “I’m still mad at you. And it’s going to take a while for me to completely get past that. But… I want to,” he said.  
  
Harry nearly collapsed in relief. “I want that too,” he whispered. “And I promise, Lou, I don’t care what you present as, I’m yours for as long as you want me. Even if it doesn’t last, I know it will be worth it while it does.”  
  
“Couldn’t you have realised this last week and saved us a lot of heartache?” Louis asked bitterly, but with a hint of a smile.  
  
“I’m so sorry. Better late than never, right?” Harry asked, smiling right back at him.  
  
“Story of our lives, isn’t it?” Louis joked. “Lucky for you I’m used to late. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve waited far too long for this.” Without warning, he took Harry’s face in his and brought their mouths together in a kiss. It was tentative and sweet, and full of every word that neither of them had been able to say to the other recently, and with their lips connected it didn’t matter a single bit what either of them presented as.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I would love if you'd take the time to leave a comment and reblog the post on [tumblr](http://icanhazzalou.tumblr.com/post/173735672291/title-and-i-will-steady-your-hand-author). And don't forget to check out the rest of the fics in this challenge!


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